Final Post

This will be my last post. Thank you for reading and most importantly sharing in my journey over the past two years. I pray I've been a blessing to you.

For His Glory,


Lauren

Life After Death: Finding Treasure in Your Trials

In August it’ll be two years since it happened. You often hear birth stories but rarely hear about the pregnancies that never lead to births.

I was 29 years old when we lost our second child. I thought I knew what I was doing with my life, felt like I had the "bull by the horns." Everything was planned out, right down to our dogs' names (we had no dogs, by the way - still don't). But these words changed everything...

"It looks like you're going to have a miscarriage." 

I only remember bits and pieces of what the doctor said after that. I couldn't believe what was happening. I suddenly felt very empty. Embarrassed. Ashamed. My mind struggled to make sense of it all. Why was this happening? How could God let this happen to me? 

I'll never forget our nurse, Beth. She was definitely our angel that night in the ER. As she prepared me to be discharged, she looked me in the eye and offered sincere sympathy for our loss. A mother of two, I could feel her hurting with me. The Christ-like compassion that flowed from her every word and gesture was exactly what my soul needed in that moment.

I don't remember the ride to pick up Nya, our daughter. She was asleep on the couch when we got to my in-laws' house. I remember kneeling beside her, trying to control my sobbing as I kissed her and held her close. For the first time I realized that her life was a miracle, and I was so grateful to hold her in my arms as she slept peacefully.

The days that followed were dark. I had chosen to forego the procedure and allow my body to carry out the miscarriage on its own. I didn't know when it would happen. The wait was painful. Even though the life inside me had already passed on, it felt like I was waiting for someone to die. 

Then early that Tuesday morning I was awakened by pains in my belly. I knew it was time. My body was ready to let go of the past. Somewhere in my heart, I was ready to allow God to begin healing me spiritually and emotionally.

After the miscarriage, I wrote these words in my journal:

These past six days have been some of the most trying since I've started walking with You. And yet, through it all, You have sustained me, kept me...Lord, I am humbled by Your greatness and I thank you for everything - the trials and the blessings that came about because of the trials. Thank you, Lord. Show me how You want me to use this trying experience to bring You glory, Lord. I know that everything has a purpose, Lord, and that Your purposes are always good.

I am here to encourage you today. Whenever you face a trial, don't allow it to make you bitter. Instead turn to God's Word. There you will find hope, truth, discernment, comfort, wisdom...anything you need. Going through a miscarriage was one of the greatest trials of my life. I felt like someone had pulled the rug out from underneath me, and I hit the ground...hard. At the time I didn’t understand why God would allow that into my life. Looking back, I realize that He was humbling me. He showed me that I need Him more than anyone or anything.

God can take our brokenness and transform it into something beautiful...if we will let Him. This transformation often doesn’t happen overnight, but rather through a continuous relationship with Him.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" 

~ Jeremiah 29:11

On September 17, 2013 I gave birth to a healthy baby girl, Ava Nancy!

5 Steps to Super Soft, Healthy Hair

I'm a foodie at heart, so the best way I could think to describe the process is like this...

It's like a coconut oil sandwich stuffed with a protein conditioner and a moisturizing deep conditioner.

Yes, I'm serious!! 

I've done this twice. The first time I bet it all on science and hoped for the best. But after getting the same awesome results a second time, I just had to share!! My entire method is a bit time-consuming so I've broken it down into five easy steps for achieving uber soft, moisturized, healthy hair:

Step 1: Start with a coconut oil pre-poo under a plastic cap for 1-2 hours (or under the dryer for 15-30 minutes).

Step 2: After shampooing, apply ApHogee Keratin 2-Minute Reconstructor (this is a light protein conditioner).

Step 3: Top the ApHogee conditioner with a deep (moisturizing) conditioner. Cover with a plastic cap for 1-2 hours (or sit under the dryer for 30 minutes).

Step 4: Detangle with a wide-toothed comb then rinse thoroughly. 

Step 5: Apply coconut oil liberally to each section prior to applying your leave-in conditioner.

               

I'm a huge fan of low-maintenance or "protective" styling. After step 5, I'll apply my finishing products then set my hair in chunky twists. I'll leave the twists in until the following week or I'll take them out and rock a twist-out for a few days. By allowing my hair to air dry in twists, I'm helping lock in the moisture from the products. You'll probably achieve the best results with this method by setting your hair in the protective style of your choice.

I usually pull my twists into a high, messy bun.

I could go into the science behind this method, but I don't want to bore you. Bottom line, this coconut oil sandwich thing works GREAT! 

Pulling My Hair Out

[This post was written a few days ago.]

I've wanted to pull my hair out several times this week. Seriously.

I've been missing my quiet time this week. I like to rise early before Puuddy (our oldest daughter) so I can spend some time with Jesus. I've learned that this time is vital - it sets the tone for my entire day. So when she started waking up before 8am this week, I was irked. Like, seriously on the edge of freaking out. And to make it worse, she hasn't been napping either. Awesome. The result? One absolutely fried and stressed out mama. (If you're a mom then you're probably sitting there nodding, thinking oh yeah, I've been there before....) 

Pause.

Now this has nothing to do with my daughter's sleeping habits and everything to do with the fact that the enemy is a thief...

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. ~ John 10:10

I'd been gaining some good ground in my walk with Christ during my quiet time. Not to mention the fruit of peace and joy that that time was bearing in my household. And this makes the enemy mad. No - furious. 

"Enemy?" you ask. "What enemy?"

If you are a believer and follower of Jesus Christ then you have an enemy and he is Satan, or the devil. He wants to rob you of the very life that Jesus offers.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. ~ 1 Peter 5:8

Oh yes, he's real. I'm seeing that more clearly now. The more I try to deepen my walk with Jesus, the more hell breaks loose. 

And so there's this constant need for me to go back, to return to the feet of Jesus, repenting of my selfish, sinful ways and seeking the cleansing and healing that only Jesus can give. Otherwise I make myself vulnerable to the enemy's attacks. But it's so easy for me to slip; to ignore the gentle nudging of Jesus to turn to Him. Honestly it's easier for me to whine and complain, allowing the enemy to gain a stronghold and steal my joy. But to experience the abundant life that Jesus offers, we have to fight for it - daily. Sometimes several times a day. But it's worth fighting for. Oh, is it worth it!

Back to this morning...

As Puuddy made her way to the top of the stairs before 7:30am, I felt my heart sink at the thought of missing my quiet time yet again. Any joy or hope for the day quickly evaporated, and I was about to give way to the bitterness and anger that so conveniently presented themselves to me. 

And then I saw it. The pattern. Morning on top of morning of missed quiet time that resulted in stressful, teary-eyed and lifeless days. By their fruit you will recognize them...(Matthew 7:16a). This isn't the life that Jesus promises us. 

"What is the fruit of what you're experiencing? What is its effect? If it continues, what will the results of that be? What will be lost?...Is something being stolen? That's not from God...Look at the fruit - it will give you a good idea of the tree it came from."

 ~ John Eldredge, Walking with God

The thief was having a field day and I was almost blind to his schemes. Before I realized it was an attack, I'd lost my will to pray. I was becoming weary and spiritually exhausted. The last thing I wanted to do was pray. And that's exactly what the enemy wanted, by the way. But once I recognized the pattern and saw the attack for what it was, somehow it became easier to endure and, most importantly, pray. As I prayed, I could feel the life of Christ returning to my body. Relief. Healing. Peace. The more I spoke God's promises over myself and worshipped Him, the better I felt. I couldn't just hope that my mood would improve and joy would return. I had to make an effort. I had to claim it.

"If you walk with God, you will find yourself called up to the real thing. Intense battle. Authentic joy. 
The battle will find you. 
But you have to be intentional about the joy." 

~ John Eldredge, Walking with God

I have to learn to be intentional about my joy. My life literally depends on it.

New Year - Don't Miss the Moments

I'm struggling to write this post because I know you're expecting me to say, "Happy New Year!" or "I'm so excited for 2014!"...but really, I haven't been all that excited about the new year. Not because I'm not looking forward to what God has in store for this year, but because I don't believe a new calendar year is the only time for new beginnings. Every morning we are given the gift of a new beginning, a clean slate, a fresh start. 

That's why I've never been a fan of new year's resolutions. I don't believe you have to wait for a new year to make changes in your life; you can begin making changes any time, even right now. After all, tomorrow isn't promised to us. All we have is today. I'm sure you've heard that before, but have you ever let it really sink in? I used to live for the future, for the life that I thought I wanted to live, until I realized that in living that way I was missing my life now - giggling and acting silly with my daughters, cuddling with my husband...all the beautiful, sweet moments that I'll forever cherish in my memory. I decided that instead of cashing in my present for a future that I may never see, I would choose to live today. 

Puuddy loves to wrestle Daddy!

Sure, it's important to set goals and have a vision for your life. But I beg you, don't miss today. Don't miss the moments. This life we're living is a precious gift. Don't waste it.

Every morning we are given the gift of a new beginning, a clean slate, a fresh start. 

Good morning!

Me & the Hubster on NYE. We rang in the New Year
via streaming video! That was a first!

Not even 4 months old and she's already teething!!!

How to Trim Your Curly Hair

I recently gave my 3 year old daughter her first trim. Naturally I didn't use a blow dryer on her delicate baby hair, so this is how I did it.

1. Freshly Washed I began with freshly washed hair. Her hair was already in twists before I washed it so I kept the twists in for the entire washing process. This made the detangling process much easier and less time-consuming. I used SheaMoisture's Moisture Retention Shampoo (diluted with water in an applicator bottle). I conditioned with Tresemme Naturals moisturizing conditioner.

After washing and conditioning

2. Moisturized, Sealed & Twisted After rinsing out the conditioner, I took one twist at a time and did the following: applied Alikay Naturals Knots Be Gone as a leave-in conditioner and finger detangled; smoothed Alikay Naturals Shea Yogurt Hair Moisturizer over the hair; topped with SheaMoisture's Finishing Elixir. After applying the products I re-twisted each twist.

3. The Trim After moisturizing, sealing and re-twisting each twist, I stretched out the twist and, taking my trimming shears, snipped a little off the ends (around a quarter of an inch in most places).

Her twists coiled nicely at the ends after her trim

And voilà! That was it. Easy, right? Yup! 

What about trimming your hair evenly? No worries. When you wear your hair curly most of the time, you don't have to worry about your hair being even because curly hair is beautiful like that; it easily conceals any slight unevenness. 

How to Know When It's Time for a Trim

Source

Split ends. We know they're bad. But how do we know when it's time for a trim? Read on to find out when it's time to reach for the trimming shears.

Split ends have many forms. But no matter how they look, they've gotta go!
Source

When split ends are allowed to linger they can rub up against neighboring strands and cause tangling and knotting, which can lead to more splitting. And the split end itself can destroy the rest of the strand if it isn't addressed. That is why it's important to get trims. But I'm not an advocate of trimming hair every 6 weeks, which is the time frame that is recommended by many professional hair stylists, and here's why. 

Everyone's hair is different because 1) we're all uniquely made so no two heads are alike, and 2) we all have our own maintenance and styling preferences. All of these factors need to be taken into consideration when it comes to establishing a trimming routine.

After blow drying my hair last month, before
flat ironing and trimming. Notice how fuzzy
my ends looked. It was definitely time for a trim!

What should you do if you find a split end? A split end here or there is not the end of the world. If I have time I'll grab my trimming shears (never use regular scissors) and snip it off. But really, who has time to sit around and stare at their ends? I'm sure you don't, and neither do I. So how do you know when it's time for a trim? Here's a good rule of thumb:

     You need a trim when your hair no longer holds styles well.        

When you twist your hair you'll notice that the ends won't wrap around each other neatly. When you wear your hair straight, the ends will look and feel rough, your hair won't move fluidly, and it will feel stiff. When you flat iron your hair, the ends will need more than one pass - a definite sign that they're due for a date with your shears. 

                                                                  

What about those products that claim to "repair split ends"? The sad truth is, once a hair is split, there's no way to repair it. Products that make those claims may make your hair feel softer and smoother by temporarily coating the split ends. But the only way to "fix" a split end is by cutting it off. 

Check back soon for my next post: How to Trim Your Curly Hair

Product Review: Alikay Naturals Knots Be Gone Detangler

Super excited about the products Alikay Natural sent me to review!! Find out what I think about their Knots Be Gone Detangler:

Note: I was not compensated for this review.

I Can't Escape Him

This whole thing is His.

I got tired of running. I got tired of acting like I was in control of my life. Now I know without a doubt that there is a calling on this life that I call "mine."

When there is a calling on your life I believe that God will stop at nothing until you surrender to Him. "Surrender" sounds like such a bad word. But really, it's the beginning of the most beautiful, intimate love relationship that you'll ever have: a relationship with your Heavenly Father.

I was recently asked about my faith in Jesus Christ. With so much conflicting information out there about the validity, authenticity and authority of Christianity, Jesus, and the Bible, how can I still have faith that Jesus is the Son of God? Why do I believe? At the time I couldn't articulate my answer because I hadn't given it much thought before then. But now that I've had time to reflect, I know why. I am not going to attempt to defend the Bible; I am not versed in apologetics. All I can say is what I know, and what I know is this:

I can't escape Him.

When I reflect on my life, there have been countless times when I could have gone off the rails, but a Force greater than myself prevented me from self-destructing. "Yeah, well how do you know that isn't just God? Why Jesus?" Because I am so imperfect, so flawed, so unworthy...a holy God would not be able to have a relationship with me because my innately sinful nature blocks me from Him. But Jesus...now, He walks with me...He cleanses me...He purifies me before the Father, because He's been here before! Even when I am weak - especially then - He carries me. He is the bread of life. He sustains me. I am nothing without Him.

You hem me in behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. ~Psalms 139:5

I can't escape Him.

Even when I was going through that rebellious teenage phase, there was always something (now I know it was Someone) who would not let me go too far. "Yeah but that's just your conscience, right?" What one person calls conscience or coincidence, I call Jesus. Because you see, all those times when I almost stepped off the cliff but Something wouldn't let me...all those times when the thing that I'd been praying about was answered by a stranger's "random" comment, or by a sign in the street, or by a few words in a book that I only picked up because "something" inside me urged me to...all those times when my heart cried out, "God, where are you?" and then a friend, family member, or even a complete stranger would reach out to me in love and say the exact words that my heart needed so it could heal, so it could rest....None of that happened by accident but because my Lord and Savior is after my heart and wants a love relationship with me so badly that even though He doesn't have to, He'll do anything to prove His love for me...even die on a cross.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners... ~Isaiah 61:1

I can't escape Him.

Even when my circumstances make me want to believe that God has abandoned me, that He doesn't really love me or care about me...it doesn't matter what I do or where I go, Jesus still patiently pursues me. I could turn on a song in an effort to drown out my pain, and I'll feel His heart for me within the intricate melodies and harmonies of the music. I could go for a run to clear my head, and through the aching I'll feel His unending mercy fall fresh upon me, so that instead of wishing that the physical pain would go away, I welcome it because I know He'll sustain me through it. I could weep tears of bitterness and frustration and feel crushed beneath the weight of hopelessness, and He'll come down beside me in that valley and stay there with me until I trust Him enough to take His hand, rise and keep following Him.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. ~Proverbs 3:5-6

In a nutshell, it's when I stopped trying to run from Jesus that my life finally began to make sense. When I stopped trying to make my own path and turned to follow Him, that's when everything fell into place. Now, I'm not saying that suddenly my life became easy and I didn't face any struggles. Au contraire. But since I decided to follow Jesus, I have discovered a peace that He reserves for those who believe and trust in Him. The less I rely on my own reasoning and thought process, the more room I give Him to move in my life, and the more freedom I experience. When I stop trying to fight my battles of loneliness, sadness, frustration, anger, fear, and hurt, and let Him into my heart so He can fight those battles for me, then I can experience the healing and peace that only Jesus can offer.

There is no life, no fulfillment to be found in living for oneself. It is only in the continuous process of letting go, in the constant relinquishing of living life my way and choosing to live His way that I can find and experience true freedom and live life as He intended.

If you cling to your life, you will lose it, and if you let your life go, you will save it. ~Luke 18:33

As I sat down to write this, I didn't know why I was doing it. I didn't even know what I was going to say. I just opened up the laptop and began typing. As I typed things were revealed to me and I was given revelation (a clearer understanding from the Holy Spirit) of scriptures that I'd read many times before but never understood until now.

I can't escape Him.

You can enter God's Kingdom only through the narrow gate. The highway to hell is broad, and its gate is wide for the many who choose that way. But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult, and only a few ever find it. ~Matthew 7:13-14

If while reading this you've felt a gentle but persistent tugging at your heart, then that's Jesus waiting at the door and He wants to come in. He wants to give you life. Let Him.

Length Check & Trim

It's that time of year again! Time to whip out the blow dryer and flat iron for my six-month length check and trim. But something strange happened this time...

I wasn't excited.

Weird, right? Usually I can hardly wait. I'll plan for it ahead of time and check the weather forecast for rain. But some reason last Friday I found myself impulsively blowing out and flat ironing my hair out of obligation rather than joyful anticipation. It could have something to do with the fact that I'd returned that wonderful-but-oh-so-expensive Sedu Revolution flat iron that I'd purchased and used for my May blow out, so I had to resort to using my old flat iron, which is in terrible condition. But honestly, I think it's because I've grown to prefer how I look with my kinks and curls. 

It's important to deep condition before
applying heat to your hair!

However, I was glad to have my hair straight so I could get it trimmed. It was in desperate need of one. My hair had surpassed waist length, but my ends were knotty, frizzy and looked just plain awful. It looked like my ends had been stuck into an electrical outlet! So serious. It was driving me crazy.

My Mom wasn't available to trim it for me and I had to run errands that afternoon. So guess who stepped up to the plate? My awesome Hubby!!! That's right, ladies! I gave him directions, handed him the sheers and he proceeded to do an AH-MAHZING job!! In fact I went to see my Mom two days later so she could clean it up for me and make sure he'd got it all, and she said he'd done a great job! Love my Hubby :) He's the best!

Since my last blow out in May, I'd set a goal of growing out my layers so that the majority of my hair would be waist length, not just my fastest-growing areas, resulting in a fuller look. Well, my plan is working! The picture on the left was of my first blow out in 2011, the year I did my grow out challenge. As you can see, my longest point was about bra strap length, which is where the crown of my hair is now, as pictured on the right. 

What a difference two years makes!
Length of my crown (@BSL) is as long as my longest point two years ago!
Left: November 2011
Right: December 2013

Product Update

Alikay Naturals, founded by popular YouTuber BlackOnyx77 (Rochelle Campbell), sent me a couple of their products to review (my official review will be up on my YouTube Channel soon - stay tuned!), so I decided to put their Knots Be Gone Hair Detangler to the test. The directions say it can be left in, so I used it as my leave-in conditioner. Let me tell you, when I say my hair was SOFT...that is an UNDERSTATEMENT!!! I'm talkin' BUTTERY soft...like I-can't-keep-my-hands-out-of-my-HAIR, soft!! Yeah...more on that later! 

I applied Knots Be Gone to each section and detangled first with my fingers then with a wide-toothed comb. Then I set my hair in chunky twists until I was ready to blow dry. See the soft sheen of my twists?

I attribute the sheen to the aloe vera juice in the Knots Be Gone. AVJ is close to the pH of our hair, so it closes the cuticles. And what happens when your cuticles are laying flat (or "sealed")? Your hair looks shiny! :)

Next I took down each twist and applied a dime-size amount of heat protectant to each section before blow drying. This heat protectant is super heavy, so less is definitely more. I twisted each section after I'd blown it dry. I've never seen my hair blown out and twisted, and I've gotta say, I was really feelin' it!

See how rough my ends were? Yeah..... :/

All done flat ironing! Can you tell I wasn't thrilled? LOL!

                     

I was much happier after my dear Hubby gave me my initial trim:

If there's one thing I've learned about this straightening process, it's that I need to do it more often. When I was doing my grow out challenge two years ago, I was mostly wearing my hair in two-strand twists. This kept my ends protected and well moisturized, so getting trims every six months (with search-and-destroy trims in between) was enough. But now that I wear my hair out all the time instead of in protective styles, my ends are constantly vulnerable and exposed to the elements and they rub up against my clothes, chairs, sofas, jackets, etc. daily. Since I have neither the time nor the patience to do search-and-destroy trims right now, I need to straighten and trim my hair more often. I'm going to start with every three months and see how my hair does with that. That is why it's called a "natural hair journey" - I'm always learning and I love it!

How often do you blow out and trim your hair?

Natural Hair on a Budget

Let's face it. There are a ton of products out there for natural hair, and if you're not careful you could easily drop a bunch of money on them. But do you really need a big wallet to wear your hair natural? Absolutely not! I used to be overwhelmed by all the products for natural and curly hair out there, until I realized I don't need a ton of products - or expensive ones - to keep my hair healthy and stylin'. Here are some tricks that I've used over the past couple years to stretch my products and my wallet. 

Dilute If you do like to use shampoo, I'd recommend a sulfate-free one. I prefer SheaMoisture's Moisture Retention Shampoo. It gives you lots of lather without the sulfates and really gets the job done without stripping your hair of moisture. Whatever shampoo you choose, you can make it stretch by diluting about a tablespoon of shampoo with lukewarm water in an applicator bottle. Shake well and apply to your hair. Rinse and follow up with your favorite conditioner. You'll use way less shampoo while still getting your hair clean. Can't splurge on a sulfate-free shampoo right now? No worries. Take whatever shampoo you have on hand, follow the same steps above and just add a little oil on top (I like grapeseed, but use whatever you have). 

Less is more I discovered this trick thanks to my thick, dense curls. (In other words, I've got a LOT of kinks, coils and curls!) The only way I can effectively distribute products through my hair is by separating it into smaller sections and smoothing the products down from root to tip. When applying products this way, I've found that I need a whole lot less product for each section. So I get the look I want without going through half my stash in one styling session. Sounds like a win-win to me!

Mix it up This is a great trick to use for your deep conditioner. Take your deep conditioner (or any moisturizing conditioner) of choice and put about 2-3 tablespoons in a small mixing bowl. Add 2-3 teaspoons of extra virgin olive oil and about 1 teaspoon of castor oil. Mix ingredients together and apply to your hair using the method described above. The natural oils will be extra conditioning for your hair while also stretching your favorite conditioner. Check out my video on how I deep condition.  

Water is your friend You've probably heard it before, but let me reiterate: water is the best moisturizer! And it's the least expensive "product" you can get. Keep moisture levels high by spritzing your hair with water daily and sealing with an oil. If your hair is tightly coiled and dries out easily, then you may benefit from sealing with a heavier oil such as extra virgin olive oil. Have a looser curl pattern? Jojoba, apricot or another light oil will seal the deal. 

How do you stretch your wallet 

when it comes to natural hair care?

5 Tips for Protecting Your Hair This Winter

If the winter season brings cold weather where you live, then you'll want to prepare to give your hair a little extra TLC. Here are 5 steps to help you keep your strands healthy and growing through the winter months.

Deep Condition I'm not the best at this step, but it's important. You know how in the summer months you can get away with using a thin lotion to keep your skin moisturized and in the winter you need to switch over to a heavier, creamier moisturizer so your skin doesn't dry out? Well much like your skin moisturizer, deep conditioning gives your hair the extra boost of moisture that it needs. Let's face it - with the harsh, cold air, the winter months can wreak havoc on our curls, kinks and coils, making them dry and brittle. And what does dry, brittle hair lead to? Tangles and breakage. No thank you! Overwhelmed by all the products out there and not sure where to start? Check out my video on my easy, inexpensive deep conditioner. Also, if your hair has permanent color in it, then deep conditioning isn't optional for you at any time of the year - it's always a must.

Puuddy's tightly coiled hair

Moisturizer There's no way around it - having a good quality moisturizer in your product arsenal is imperative to the health of your hair. Now, the type of moisturizer will largely depend on your curl pattern. Moisturizers come in a range of formulas, because no two curl patterns are alike. The tighter the curls, the more difficult it is for the natural moisturizer our scalps make - sebum - to make its way down our strands. This type of curl pattern will benefit from a heavier, creamier moisturizer (I like SheaMoisture's Curl Enhancing Smoothie - beware: a little goes a loooong way). The looser the curls, the easier it is for sebum to moisturize the whole strand of hair, so this curl pattern only needs a light moisturizer, maybe one that comes in spray form. 

Seal Sealing is a step that is really important, especially for those of us with tighter, kinkier curls and coils. There are two ways you can seal: 1) with pH, and 2) with oils or butters. Back when I was setting my hair in a bijillion two-strand twists, I'd seal using the famous "Kimmaytube leave-in conditioner" (note that the original recipe calls for 2 tbsp of aloe vera leaf juice, not green tea). This conditioner acts as a sealant due to the pH of aloe vera leaf juice, one of its main ingredients. This juice is all natural and has a pH that is very close to the natural pH of the scalp and hair - between 4.5 and 5.5. Without getting too deep (let's face it, chemistry wasn't my best subject anyway) when a product falling into that pH range touches our hair, it closes the cuticles of the hair strand, locking in moisture and protecting the strand from tangling and mechanical (comb/brush) damage. So if you think about it, when you apply the Kimmaytube conditioner to your wet hair, you're sealing in the moisture from the water. The result? Soft, shiny, healthy and moisturized hair! The second way to seal is to use oil. Your curl pattern, moisture needs and personal preferences will dictate whether you use a light or heavy oil. My coils are looser than my oldest daughter's coils, so I can get away with using a lighter oil - such as jojoba - to seal. But her hair requires a heavier oil - such as extra virgin olive oil - to effectively lock in moisture, soften her hair and keep it tangle-free.

My curls in the front and back are
loose and wavy

Puuddy's hair with the yarn twist
extensions I installed this summer

Protective Styling This is a term that is talked about a lot in the natural hair community, but what does it actually mean? Protective styling is any style that requires as little manipulation as possible. Less manipulation = less opportunity to damage your strands. In my mind there are two categories of protective styles: with and without the addition of faux/human hair or yarn. But whether you're setting your hair in mini twists or Senegalese twists, you STILL need to SHAMPOO and MOISTURIZE regularly, especially if you're keeping the style in for weeks at a time. Protective styling doesn't mean set-it-and-forget-it. This is really important if you've added hair or yarn to your hair. If you don't keep your hair and scalp clean then lint and dirt will cause build-up that you'll be removing for DAYS maybe even WEEKS after you've taken down the style. Plus, dirt and product build-up on your scalp hinders growth. And if you don't moisturize, then the faux/human hair and yarn will draw all the moisture out of your hair, which can lead to breakage. 

Puuddy's hat that I lined two
winters ago

Lined Hats Lastly, if you're going to wear a hat then make sure it is lined with satin or a satin-like material such as a polyester blend. If your hat isn't lined then I wouldn't wear it at all. Seriously. You can find vendors on Etsy that sell handmade, good quality lined hats (if you need a hat for your baby then I'd recommend this Etsy shop). But it doesn't stop at hats. One winter I learned a hard lesson when I discovered that my wool coat and scarf were causing terrible tangles and matting at the nape of my neck. But should we really freeze for the sake of preserving a few strands? No worries - you don't have to choose. Here's what I do: I still wear my wool coat BUT I make sure I wear a silk/polyester scarf so that it acts as a buffer between my hair and coat. Voilà! You get to stay warm and protect your strands!



Work these tips into your regimen and wardrobe and you'll enjoy healthy, moisturized strands this winter!

~ How do you keep your hair healthy in the wintertime? ~

Feeling God's Pleasure

"Amazing" doesn't even capture how INCREDIBLE that first run was for me. Everything felt so familiar...like stepping into an old pair of sneakers. I got the usual butterflies as I put on my layers and stretched. I could hardly wait to feel my feet hitting the pavement again...but I was a bit nervous too. Good nervous, though. Excited nervous. It had been months since my last run...since January 20, 2013 (had to check my app 'cause it had been so long that I couldn't remember!). If you are a runner then you know how much of a mind game it is. I was mentally prepared for the worse: sore muscles, side stitches, gassin' out early and wanting to walk. But much to my surprise, this turned out to be one of my easiest runs - both mentally and physically. 

I started off power walking (at my hubby's insistence - he's a personal trainer and lifelong athlete so I value his opinion ;)) but soon found myself running. With Kim Walker-Smith's "Spirit Break Out" blasting in my ears on repeat (great song, check it out), I was probably running at a snail's pace, but in my spirit I was FLYING. It felt like sliding behind the wheel of my car and stepping on the gas...my body responded the same as before and knew exactly what to do. 

I've never seen the movie, but I've heard that in Chariots of Fire there's a line that goes something like, "When I run, I feel God's pleasure." Oh, how true is that for me! Running has become a form of worship for me. Even when it's tough, when it hurts and everything in my mind is screaming at my body to stop...my heart is SOARING, caught up in worshiping my God, my Lord, my Savior...my everything.

Natural Isn't Natural?

           
There seems to be this sentiment within the natural hair community that being natural is the only way to be; that having relaxed hair is categorically unnatural and, well...wrong. I can admit that I used to feel that way. But is it really natural to be natural? I'd venture to say no, it isn't natural. Not for everyone. Sure, we're all born that way. But that doesn't mean that it comes naturally to all (no pun intended). 

I think most of us will admit that in our relaxer days we were sold out to relaxers. Before I went natural you would've had to pry my relaxer from my cold, dead fingers. Not kidding. I was hooked. Even after I'd completely transitioned I still wondered if I'd done the right thing; if being natural was really for me. After all, I straightened the mess outta my hair anyway so what was the difference? All I wanted was straight hair that was easy to manage and moved like our white sisters' hair. 

And therein lay the problem...my mindset. I was under the impression that my natural hair wasn't beautiful but rather needed to be tamed and controlled (straight) to be acceptable. It didn't help that I had no idea how to take care of it either. I'd say the same goes for those of us who haven't made the switch to natural. It's all in a person's mindset and their perception of natural hair. A lot of that is rooted in society's definition of beauty and a person's past experiences.

So before we give the next relaxed sister we see the side eye, let's be mindful that being natural isn't for everyone - and that's okay. At the risk of sounding corny (whoa, hello 1995) our differences are what make us beautiful.

For His Glory,


Lauren <3

Green with Envy

[From this past Saturday]

Early Saturday morning...before the traffic, before the stores are packed...this is my favorite time of the week because it's when I get what every mother needs but rarely ever takes... 

Mommy Time!

source

I rise early before my family is up, make my coffee, grab a bagel and head out to the grocery store. Yes, I know it may seem extremely lame to some that I'm excited to go grocery shopping. But this is my "me" time; my time to get alone with the Lord, pray and worship Him. Sometimes I can hardly wait for that moment when I get in the car, plug in my phone and listen to the song that's playing in my heart. Other times I feel God calling me to be quiet and still before Him. And naturally there are times when I go before the throne of grace with the things that are burdening my heart. By the time I get to the store I'm already feeling more refreshed, light-hearted and joyful. The cashiers are almost always in a good mood too. 

The young woman at the register today immediately caught my attention. She had this cute little fro with a couple of twists in the front. As she started scanning my items she looked at my hair and asked if I'd done a braid-out. I explained how I'd set it in chunky twists because it's the closest I can get to wearing my natural curl pattern (I'd done my pseudo wash n' go). She commented that she liked my hair and quickly lamented that she wished hers would be less frizzy and more defined (my curls happened to be more defined today). I encouraged her as best I could to stick with it and embrace her hair, but I felt like I fell short. There were so many things waiting on the tip of my heart to share with her. But most of all I wanted to say...

Your hair is beautiful just the way it is.

source

I feel that so many more naturals would be able to love their hair (and therefore a part of themselves) if they could see the beauty in their curls and kinks instead of longing for someone else's. I used to fall victim to this mentality so I know how challenging it is to overcome. But if we're always envious of other naturals then we'll never be able to fully appreciate and love how God made our own natural hair. 

And that goes way beyond natural hair. I will admit that I am guilty of envying others' possessions; it's been one of my greatest struggles lately. Envy is one of those seemingly harmless but very dangerous emotions because it is an absolute joy stealer: it sucks the life and joy right out of you, leaving you bitter, empty and ungrateful for what you do have. 

Let's anchor our souls in verses like this:

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. ~Proverbs 14:30

Rots. The. Bones.....Yikes! I don't like the sound of that, and I'm sure you don't either. So when we find ourselves stumbling over the trap of envy, let's keep this in mind:

Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 

Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. 

~Galatians 5:25-26

Whether it's someone else's curls or the next person's car, when we find ourselves feeling envious we need to remember that envy blocks us from fully appreciating what God has blessed us with and most of all, from knowing in our hearts His incredible love for us. 

For His Glory,


Lauren <3